The post I never wanted to write yet the post I needed to write most.
There are so many reasons why I am a Christian and yet there are so many reasons why I do not want to be one. With the presupposition of Biblical inerrancy, the acceptance of gay marriage and homosexual acts is unacceptable.
Yet, as a human being, I must admit that I make mistakes. If I were thinking logically the entire time, I'd have to say I do not accept Biblical inerrancy pro forma. Yet, when I read the Bible (which is maybe, each month, and maybe, each week), I am struck by a sense of awe that I describe in the post below. I am filled with the realization that I know nothing, or at least, very little, about Christianity and/or God. Honestly, these past few Sundays, I've learned much about the character of Jesus although I've read the Gospels several times. When I read the Psalms, my heart is relieved and encouraged. When I read Job, I am reminded of how to express my own sadness and suffering. When I read James, I am invigorated to do more in terms of working for social justice.
I actually feel this feeling when I do yoga or do Buddhist prayers/kneelings with my father. I feel transcendence—a feeling of feeling completely and utterly unalone. My eyes are closed—it is a state of deep meditation. Sometimes, the right kind of music will do it for me. At times, I am driving on the freeway—going 60, 70, 80 mph—and I hear a song I haven't heard in a long time, and my body is in pure ecstasy: I have subsumed myself in the notes of the song. And of course, reasonable Christians might disparage my attempts or discourage me from doing yoga or listening to my father when he tells me to do the Buddhist '108 Kneelings' with him. —
To those Christians: FUCK YOU.
That's right.
Fuck you for denying gay people their rights. Fuck you for acting like or even thinking you're superior for being a Christian. Fuck you for not understanding that people of other faiths can teach you valuable things about being a Christian and/or about being a moral human being in general. Fuck you, and the sad thing is you'll understand nothing of what I write, which is probably why the last five sentences are mind-fucks for you.
Now that I've gotten some, um, personal vendetta-ish issues out of the way, this is why I am a Christian. Because I believe myself superior to most Christians, but stupider than most people in general. Because I love all religions and think we should ensure their survival. Because I dislike some aspects of Islam as much as I dislike some aspects of Christianity. Because I think the five-prayers-a-day thing that Muslims do is pretty cool. Because Buddhism and its Four Noble Truths probably makes the most logical sense to an atheist. Because Hinduism is historically the oldest faith and it's pretty awesome too, cue Gandhi. Because I know Sikh friends and they live moral lives too. Because I know atheists and after hearing their stories, am convinced that I know less about how to live a moral life than they do.
Yeah it makes no sense. Which is why I am a Christian.
