What is Love?

I've been thinking a lot these days about love. And I'm not talking about my own life necessarily; I'm thinking about about what love is, why it is important, and how I can apply it to strangers and to friends. This video got me started:

And then I found this (by the same guy):

http://jaesonma.com/365-days-of-love-day-284-the-5-pillars-of-manhood-how-men-should-love-respect-women/

Some highlights:

"Women don’t want to marry boys, they want to marry men."

"Sadly, most men are not living. Most men are cowards, fearful and afraid of failure. Imprisoned by their own thinking and what others think about them."

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What is love? To answer this question, I'm going to start from the Bible.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Is love about finding the right person? Online dating services promise that their algorithms will find you the perfect mate. And Christians are not exempt from this American/worldly culture that encourages one to "find the one." In other words, love is about you. Love is about satisfying your own heart's desire.

I'm not going to bore you with details. If this definition of love satisfies you, to each his/her own. I don't want to judge your conception or definition of love. I simply want to examine other definitions.

But suppose we define love as unselfishness. Treating others as precious. To hold them up in our hearts and to continually give ourselves to them. I think this is closer to the essence of what love is.

In the TV series Glee, Burt Hummel, a 40-something-ish, red-plaid-wearing car-mechanic and father, has a stroke and lapses into a coma. Although fellow classmates offer to pray for his father, Kurt Hummel refuses their spiritual offerings. Although he ends up attending Mercedes' church toward the end of the "Grilled Cheesus" episode, he remains an atheist. But how does he come to terms with his dad's comatose state? Sitting by his father's bedside, Kurt tearfully eeks out a few words: "I believe in you. I believe in us. You and me. That's what's sacred to me."

With those words, Burt Hummel seemingly moves his hand, indicating autonomous function once again. The ending of "Grilled Cheesus" ends with a song, "What If God Was One of Us" by Joan Osbourne.

The premise of "One of Us" is to imagine a God as a stranger, as a homeless man on the street, or as a passerby on the bus. I think this is a definition of love that is almost there. It's lacking something, however.

It sounds nice to treat other people as sacred. But I think this is an incorrect use of the word "sacred."

People are imperfect. They sin. They hurt others. They break your heart. People cheat. People lie and murder and do all of things that God wishes for them not to do. I am not trying to condemn "people" when I write here of all the things that we do wrongly. I do this stuff myself. I struggle with judging others. I struggle with lying and treating others as they should be treated as God's creation.

Perhaps you want to stop here. Perhaps you want to stop reading, disagree, and say, "Others are sacred to me." I won't try to convince you. But I would just ask you to consider, Where does the definition of "sacred" come from? How do human beings come up with a notion such as sacred?

I think it comes from God. God is perfect. Where we see human imperfection, God sees potential. When we are stuck in the guilt of our own sin, God lifts us up to delight in his Son. God, through his Son Jesus, affirmed the opposite of what humans beings do on a daily basis. He lived a perfect life. He loved others. He washed his disciples' feet. He healed sickness. He did not condemn prostitutes or tax-collectors, but loved them.

Finally, he sacrificed himself. He shed his own blood and died of asphyxiation on the Cross. Not only that, he died for who those who hated him. He died for those who denied him and ignored him and refused to recognize him.

That's love. Love is not about yourself. It's not even about other people, although loving people is definitely part of it. Love is sacrifice. More specifically, its about The Sacrifice.

I mentioned earlier that modern society encourages us to "find the one." I think we've come full circle--we don't need to keep on trying to find this person.

Why?

Because we have found the One. He has been here all along, knocking on the door of our hearts waiting for us to let Him in and hold us in his presence. Love is God, and God is love.