Man Up

What does that phrase mean to us? Us Americans. Us rural, conservative, city-dweller, liberal, heterosexual, gay, atheist, religious, disabled, able-bodied, young, old, meat-eating, veggie-curious, vegetarian, vegan Americans. Us enlightened and civic-minded citizens who rise above the fray. Us Americans who don't give a crap.

I can't claim to speak for the groups of people I laundry-listed above. I'm not going to. I'm going to speak for myself. Why? Well, because this is my blog. But more importantly, I can only speak to those groups with which I have had personal experience. 

Here are my biases. I am a independent (left-leaning socially and fiscally). I am an Asian-American and have heavy-leanings toward greater Asian-American visibility in mainstream media(film, TV, and literature). I am a heterosexual male and I am Christian, although I try to accept all people, even gay and/or atheist. I love Jesus. I think he is the greatest man to ever live. I grew up in a wealthy suburban town called Pleasanton. I go to an Ivy-League school. I am a feminist. I am currently a limited-meat-eater but helped found a vegetarian club over two years ago. I consider myself smart but also naive in many areas. I have great sympathy toward the mentally and physically disabled. 

But this post isn't about me. It's about manning up. Now, there's this common misconception about that phrase. It goes something like this: "manning up" is about destroying things. Either you destroy someone's life, or you destroy your own life. Take steroids. Is that an example of manning up? Maybe, but it's clear: steroids can do great harm to one's body. 

What about destroying others' lives? Let's talk about UFC. I like watching UFC most of the time. But it also seems to me something grotesque to have two men pummel each other until they're both bleeding out of every orifice of their faces. I think morality is worthy of consideration when thinking about UFC. To take the previous question to its most extreme scenario: serial killers. Many of them stalk their prey for long periods of time. BTK is one of many examples. 

Destroying others' lives is not morally sound, nor is hurting others. If one wants to live a moral life, one cannot hurt others. So what counts as a moral life? I would say Jesus, but you can use other words like sincerity, empathy, and compassion. Becoming a man means becoming a moral man. That's right. It's not about bulking up, or getting a girlfriend, or even being "close to God." It's not about numbers. It's not about how much you have in your bank account. It's not about how many friends(or Facebook friends) you have. It's not about your IQ or how many terminal degrees you can list on your resume. 

Now when I say becoming a man is not about money, fame, or intellectual ability, read the wiser words of an individual named David Foster Wallace: 

The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. 

Manhood is not about becoming more masculine. It's about morality, and it's about sacrifice. It's about giving up the things you love most and giving them to those you love most. It's about giving up one's life to stand for something greater than oneself. That's manhood. Now that you know what it is, two words:

Man up.